Modern decorum calls for a young woman of educated status to have, in fact, an elevated status.
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“Congratulations on graduation,” said the Older Person. “And what are you doing now?”
Congratulations? He/she had to be kidding. She stifled a laugh when she realized they were indeed serious.
Girl* sized Older Person up, trying to determine if his/her opinion was one that could crush her.
What does this aunt/uncle/neighbor/random-person-who-likes-to-dig-up-dirt mean by “doing?” She was doing her laundry, thank you, and her errands and sometimes, her chores.
“Well. I don’t have a job at the moment,” she replied. “I’m just… looking. (Insert required sentence about the poor state of the economy).”
“Yes, yes, it is bad out there,” the Person said.
He/she gave her a rather patronizing look while taking a swig of a mixed drink.
“Home with the parents for now!”
Right. Home. It’s where the heart is and all, but it’s not a great place to experience the new.
Girl then realized the Person was, unfortunately, still speaking.
“Well, you’ll find something! I remember when I graduated…,” he/she trailed off and looked for another conversation to join.
www.toothpastefordinner.com
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I ask others what their plans are, too, but I know how much it hurts to shoulder the question when you are actually doing nothing at all.
I did not do much this summer, until recently. I have a part-time job for the time being. Time being means until October (I think), when I move to Atlanta to start my next adventure (stay tuned for that chapter).
After the post-college-plans conversation dies, a new one swoops in to pat you on the back. Or maybe hit you on the back of the head.
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“Are you seeing anyone special right now?” Older Lady said.
Girl considered fabricating a boyfriend who happened to live in California and would not be in the area, like, ever.
“Um, not really right now, no,” she said.
Older Lady winked and looked her up and down appraisingly.
“You’ll find a special person soon enough!” she said. “Just enjoy your life right now!”
Older Lady’s ring finger seemed more prominently displayed on the outside of her wine glass as she lifted it to her mouth to take a sip.
Holy hell, that rock was huge. She left a berry colored stain on the rim of the glass and Girl could not help but wonder if she stained everything she touched.
Girl looked up and realized that Older Lady was squinting at her, noticing Girl absorbing the lipstick rim and sparkling rock. Girl smiled, picked her jaw up and inched away.
Was it weird that she was not thinking of settling any time soon? Probably not, but then she realized that despite the fast-pace associated with modernity, she did not know if this mindset was “normal.”
And if casually dating a few Mr. Bigs here and there was normal, she hoped that she got a bit weirder.
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Normal in reference to dating and relationships changes every day. I’m waiting for someone to come up with a definition that’s applicable to everything.
I stumbled across this section of the New York Times called “Modern Love.” In 2008, the editors asked college students to define what love meant to them in a series of essays.
The winner candidly sums up the current dating culture in a piece titled “Want to Be My Boyfriend? Please Define.”
The best excerpt:
So when my friends and I started having a conversation about the nature of monogamy, I thought I knew something about monogamy. Because, despite the fleeting nature of most of my encounters, and despite my own role in their short duration, I think what I have been seeking in some form from all of these men is permanence.
Sometimes I don’t like them, or am scared of them, and a lot of times I’m just bored by them. But my fear or dislike or boredom never seems to diminish my underlying desire for a guy to stay, or at least to say he is going to stay, for a very long time.
And even when I don’t want him to stay — even when he and I find each other as strangers and remain strangers until we stop doing whatever it is we are doing — I still want to believe that two people can meet and like each other well enough to stay together exclusively, without the introduction of some 1960s rhetoric about free love or other noncommittal slogans.
But noncommittal is what we’re all about.
Some of my friends, bless their hearts, are in their relationships for the long haul. Others are just rolling with life and seeing where it brings them.
And still others seem to pine for what they can’t have, and ignore what they could.
For a 20-something-year-old, what is the next step? That is, where is the proper place to put your feet on the ground?
Should it be time to make someone a priority when you’ve just begun to realize how to prioritize your life?
*Girl=20-something female, current, average.
